The Storm Isn’t The Problem — I AM

For those of you who are here that are not from Alabama, it has been a stormy summer. Now I’m not a meteorologist or anything so I don’t know, maybe this is normal, but it feels off to me. Mostly in May, it seemed as if it stormed every afternoon and then the lightning! Sheesh!

There have also been a lot of personal storms happening in my life too over the summer. This was the first summer Nehemiah only had summer school for the month of June, so I was tasked with the opportunity to find ways to entertain him and work at the same time in the month of July. My grandmother passed after 92 wonderful years on this earth, so an unexpected trip to Mississippi was included in our plans to celebrate her life. Working felt non existent but I did what I could. There was a lot of emotional tension to cut through in every area of my life. We all of storms. I’m sure you could write a blog about your own storms. (You should!)

Sometimes, we ask God to quiet storms He sent to refine us.

I’ve been going through a lot of my old journals and there is a time in my life I recognized that the storm wasn’t the enemy — my response was. I had to repent for trying to rebuke what God was using to build me. Sounds similar to Peter when he stepped out of the boat to walk to Jesus. While Peter’s faith may have failed in the midst of that storm, Jesus used that storm to teach Peter and the disciples about faith, they had to learn the lesson to know how to move when Jesus was no longer on earth. He does these things with our storms too. (Matthew 14:22-33)

Another thing I realized as I went through my journey is I wanted peace without obedience. I desired rest and peace but I wasn’t always willing to do the hard, obedient work of surrender and God showed me that the storm exposed my lack of trust in Him. This is a hard pill to swallow, especially because I am a recovering perfectionist and I strive to be in God’s grace, to be a “star child” if you will. (Don’t judge me, I’m working on it lol).

“Ebone, you are spiritually lazy and emotionally undisciplined!” Cue shocked emoji! “Say what now God!?” Yes, this is how the Lord talks to me and this is the third lesson on storms. This Holy Spirit whipping pushed me to own that my inconsistency and emotional immaturity contributed to the chaos in my life — not just my circumstances. The Holy Spirit showed me through so many different ways I was partnering with fear, not faith. The situation itself wasn’t causing me to feel stuck; it was the agreement I had made with fear and doubt. I had built idols out of control, comfort and honestly sometimes even my aim. I realized that what I was trying to protect (my pride, comfort one, image) was keeping me in bondage.

So, I had revelation that deliverance was the answer. And I don’t know if I fully understood deliverance until now. What I realized is deliverance didn’t look like shouting — it looked like obedience in secret. Obedience in obscurity. In the secret place. The break through came when I stopped blaming external issues and stated doing the quiet, faithful work of repentance and realignment with God’s will for my life. And the hardest part? I surrendered my right to be right. WHEW! I had to stop defending myself, my perspective, or my past and fully yield to God’s correction.

Final lesson? The storm was never te enemy —- it was the REVEALER. God used the storm to expose what was inside of ME, and it brought about transformation once I faced myself honestly.

Is it possible that the storm is not YOUR enemy, but your mirror?

Are you resisting refinement because it’s uncomfortable?

I encourage you to get plugged in to what God is doing in this space called Living Faith Moms. I have endured a journey through some of the hardest storms of my life to end up here, creating space for moms to walk through their storms in community. We are not meant to do this alone, friends.

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